Death wish

Last night
On the television,
I'm so scared.
Fear led to a prayer -
Oh God,
I've had enough of all this.
Tonight, please,
This is the night I die.
I can't face another day.

Yesterday,
Small accident at home.
So trivial and insignificant,
But my parents
So mad,
Like in March.
But I've not committed suicide
Again,
Yet.

I want to.
There's nothing left.
My parents are obsessed
With me planning a future
I don't even have.
But I can't tell them why -
They will stop me,
They won't understand,
Nobody will.

Another day, another prayer -
Tonight is the night,
Please,
Tonight let me die.
I can't face tomorrow.
I'm desperate,
But can't express how I feel.
Fear of my parents knowing
And stopping me again.

They can't,
I won't let them
Or anyone.
I've got to do it properly this time,
No more failure.
Only one other person knows
How many times
I've tried
But failed.

Why
Am I still here?
My life is not worth living
Any more.
I want to die.
Please God,
I'm desperate,
Alone,
Scared of tomorrow.

I can't do this
Any more.
There is nothing
Anyone can do
To make a difference,
Help me.
I should have ended it
When I had the chance,
So angry I didn't.

Friends made me promise
I wouldn't try again,
But I was wrong.
I can't keep the promise,
Not any more.
I wish it was all over.
I wish I was dead.
There's nothing left here
For me.